I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
