i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
