well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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