Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
wow bdsm is so cute
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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