Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
