I never want to see another naked old woman again.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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