She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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