fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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