I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
