: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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