maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
