At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
