Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There's always time for handjobs
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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