Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
