New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
