This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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