There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
