Jerry, you need to find god
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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