I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Someone came in the potted fern
Randomize
