You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
