Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
