is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
