i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
