why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
