Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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