You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize