? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
