I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
