I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
