just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
