I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
