I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize