Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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