Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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