It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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