Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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