she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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