If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
