can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize