He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
