You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
