Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
