her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
