You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
