I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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