Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize