i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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