Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
