One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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