PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
