I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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