listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
