on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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