3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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