my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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