fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
