I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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