Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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