I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
