Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize